Fox and His Friends

Tips for enjoying life without breaking the bank.

The Film: Rainer Werner Fassbinder’s cynical take on the alienating effects of capitalism

The Potable: Two Olde English 40s

Ever the sensible fellow, I rarely partake in the doomed pastime of gambling. Even when I do allow myself to unwind by buying a Powerball ticket at the grocery store, I can’t help but feel the money would be better spent on beer. The titular Fox in Fassbinder’s 1975 examination of love and capitalism would have done well to take my advice. While he wins a half-million Deutsch Marks, his new wealth brings stifling social pressures, fleeting material gains, and general ennui.

Below is a list of ways to live affordably and well.

• Enter a pie-baking contest. Even if you lose, you’ll find the thrill of competition to be a reward all its own.
• Go on a plane ride. Short, single-engine flights are affordable, and the pilot may even become a new friend.
• Try a new type of fruit. Skip the pineapples and pears. Go for the cupuacu, the cherimoya, the purple mangosteen. Explore the wide range of tanginess.
• Read the funny pages. Few pleasures age as well as Dilbert.
• Try a new type of wine. Even the cheap bottles offer a stunning variety of textures and flavors. Maybe you’ve sampled Trader Joe’s two-buck chuck, but have you tried Harris Teeter’s?
• Build a kite. All you need is string and printer paper!
• Fly a kite.
• Eat the pie you baked in the baking contest.
• Take a flying lesson by paying very close attention to the pilot’s actions during your plane ride.
• Coupon. Don’t be afraid to go dumpster diving; people of means throw away hundreds of dollars’ worth of BOGO Cheez-Its.
• Go furniture shopping. Wander through your neighborhood to see what barstools have been tossed out. Leather is easy to refurbish and you’d be surprised how resilient wood is to rainwater.
• Take up cooking. Learning the fundamentals will help you make the best of scrap ingredients. Find two slices of bread, a coffee filter, and a jar of molasses in the back of the pantry? Then you can make what I call pain la mélasse.
• Look at a dog.

• Give up smoking. With packs in the District costing over $8, you’ll find depriving yourself of an addiction to be an effective – and noble! – way to suffer through a day.
• Empty a bank account. Whether out of necessity or simply for sport, you’ll find fighting with the teller to be a satisfying upper.
• Toss a brick through a window. Any window will do, but I’d recommend the driver-side door of the Lexus LS parked across two spaces behind the Chipotle on Wisconsin Avenue.
• Go on a scavenger hunt. Pennies are everywhere, and you can find as many as 200 a day if you have a spare 7 hours.
• Buy a lottery ticket. It’s cheap, and who knows, maybe you can win yourself out of this hell we call life.

Verdict: very foxy